2018 : Contentment

Hello, my outdated-dusty-cobwebbed-filled blog! It's been awhile (well, more than awhile) and my fingers are back on my keyboard, typing away something that I've been thinking about, contentment.

We're in the 3rd month of 2018 (March, FYI). Yes, it is but just merely the beginning of the year. For every year passes, I tend to look back at the previous year and do a 'self-reflect' thing. 

I'd ponder on the question, thinking "what can I do to improve myself more?". 

This is when I start to figure out which part of myself needs to be groomed and what should I do to finally be content with myself?

Honestly, to be content has been a struggle over the past few years.

It is a constant battle with yourself that exhausts your soul over the time. 

This battle has once brought me to think whether have I fallen into depression. Because at a time, I simply could not find joy in anything I do or see in myself. The person in the mirror utterly disgust me.
But eventually I brushed the thought off my shoulders as I figured out that I am just not happy with who I am and I'm going to change that.

Hence, the creation of the 'self-improvement survey' on myself.

This year, I have finally decided that I want to feel better in my own skin. 

I want to accept everything that I am instead of punishing myself for every mistake I make, even the tiniest ones. 

I need to be.
Otherwise staying this way would milk away every happiness I have for the world. Thus, I've already fired up my engine, ready to take on this journey that would hopefully make me reach my goals that I've had planned out for myself!

So, let me share the list of what I have in mind because if I ever read about this blog post again in the future, I want to take it as an achievement. Like a, "YES, I DID IT" kind of thing or maybe an encouragement of my en route to being happy whenever I feel like giving up.

1. Losing Weight

I have never been comfortable in my own skin. NEVER.
So it's time for me to gain confidence from my appearance by losing weight first.

Because I was often teased when I was younger (until today too, actually) for being plump, my self-esteem has not been always on the 'up' side, more like the deep-down-under-the-sea kind of side. To stop the drowning of my precious pride, I decided to lose weight!

I know I know, people that know me have been hearing me talk about this for ages yet has never seen me taking action. Guess what folks? This time, the game is real. As I type this blog today, its my 4th day of being on a strict diet and guess what? I've already lost 3kg! (HA!) Still, 7kg more till I own my ideal weight! (dont worry, till then i wont be underweight and I'm practicing proper diets and not starving myself ;) )

2. Better Skin

The freckles on my cheeks may look cute and have helped me receive compliments of looking like an 'angmo', but I still see it as a flaw.

Every time I head over for facials, the beauticians would nag me about how I should love my skin more because of the low levels of attention I pay to my own skin. So to avoid anymore lectures, I've began stocking up proper skin care products that are suitable for my skin! Because, who would want wrinkles all over their face in their 20's? Also, I've been binge watching on Youtube videos to learn how these beautiful skinned people nourish their face into perfection so that I would have the same outcome too, hahaha.
Hopefully in months my skin would have a healthy glow to it!

3. Commitment & Persistence
These 2 words are the pillars to my overall 'new year's resolution'.
I thought of them as I find myself easily distracted by the outside world. Its guilty pleasures trying to strip my principles away and I don't like that. For instance, if someone comes knocking on my door asking me to go out for drinks when I have due dates to catch up for my assignments, I'd still say 'yes'.

 It gets annoying at the end of the day because after I come back of having a fun night out, I'd realize I could've stayed in and finish up my assignments first instead of trying to beat time and end up handing in last minute work that does not help my CGPA to grow.

Well, these are the 3 main things that I'd be focusing on this year.

In 2018, I want to be able to stand on my ground and be able to reject anything that challenges my integrity towards the things that I'm trying to achieve.(Especially about losing weight! I have to stay committed to this because seeing the number on the weighing scale becoming smaller makes me motivated to work harder, hehe.)

Mostly, I'm just trying to develop more self-love within myself instead of sulking in a corner whenever my self-esteem hits rock bottom. 

This year, I will be content with myself and it will be a productive one, I hope know it will.

6 inch gone by 9Studio

Hey guys! So after 2 long weeks of weighing out whether it's the right choice to get my hair cut short or not, (because my hair is actually really dried up at the end, full of split ends) I finally made a decision through some of my friends and family's comments which was basically more to "You like lah" but my goodsupergreatfunnyawesomedisturbingannoying, June, said 

"JUST GO FOR IT, YOLO MA"

('YOLO' is what she always say when people ask her opinions on things) 

Then I did.

My hair was previously dyed at a salon near UCSI, called '9 studio'. I found it through facebook where I saw few of my friends got their hair dyed there since it was they had the lowest price among most salons.

Pictures above were from before :) June was with me

In the morning I was sooo excited before going to the salon hahahahaa

By 1pm, I got my long bob cut by the pop stylist there,Jason. It was sooo nerve-wrecking at first, I was starting to doubt whether I'd look good in it but turns out I had no regrets.

Ignore my stupid looking face hahahaha and focus on the amount of hair he chopped off !

The final outcome

Yesyesyes, I loveeeee it. I took this picture when I got home because I was a little shy taking selfies there. 

 The sides.

I've been to 9studio twice now and I really like their services. Their really friendly and based on my hair, I guess they made a pretty nice job. Plus, their price are really cheaper compared to other salons. 

Here's their info just in case you'd like to get your hair done there :

Address : 43,Jalan Menara Gading 1, Taman Connaught, 56000 Cheras, Kuala Lumpur

Phone No. : 0391083622

or you could just go onto their facebook page '9Studio' and arrange an appointment with them via private messages. 

Camayan Beach Resort Subic Bay! {Philli's #2}

"Girlssss, wake up! Breakfast time!" I heard Aunty Annie shouting outside the door while knocking it for 4 times, then I heard the door open and she jumped on our bed! "Girls, wake upppp. We have to go soon!"

It's the second day, I fluttered my eyes open when I saw the sunlight shooting into our room through the windows. "What time is it?" I asked as I took out my phone to check the time, '7 am' it displayed. I couldn't believe it was 7 in the morning, It looked like it was already 11! I jumped out of bed with Diane and got myself cleaned and dressed. Right in front of me served breakfast cooked by Uncle Julius and they looked de-lish!

Salted fish, scrambled egg with eggplant, pork salted sausage, mango and rice

I was quite surprised with their style of having breakfast. My usual's were toast with jam and a cup of milo, but this, this is what I normally eat for lunch or dinner. 

Anyway, I didn't mind at all! It tasted fine, I was just taken back by the amount of food they intake in the morning. 

Before we left, I applied sunblock on my face, packed some extra clothes into my backpack, wore my swimsuit underneath a see-through large sized singlet and then got into the van. 

While driving, Aunty Annie wanted to get some coconut water on the way, so we stopped at one of the little stalls at the side of the roads.

 Ohmygod, they had so many coconuts and it tasted like soda! It had this bubbly-gasy feeling when you drank it, so refreshing and sweet yumz.

In the van, Diane and I practically knocked out and we slept throughout half of the journey there as it took around 3-4hours to Camayan Beach.

Before drooling on each other's shoulder and head.

On the way there

 We're finally here ! Oh, the crystal blue seaaaaa.

 We were so excited that we could do some snorkeling

 So happy to be at the beach omg

 That's AJ and Faye next to Diane

The smell of the salty ocean, the wind blowing my hair away from my face, the sound of the waves and a few squeals from the people in the water ; All that just made me so relaxed and happy. I felt so calm, like all of my thoughts that had troubled me before didn't seem to exist as I took a steps toward the sea.

We rented a cabana on the beach, it was really cute. 

Inside, we placed out the food that Uncle Julius had prepared earlier, I was curious what they had made for our little picnic and when they took everything out...I suddenly felt a drop of water dripping from my chin. 

Good mother of God.

LOOK, SEAFOOD. DEM PRAWNS, CRABS, MUSCLES, SEAWEED, STEWED PORK. okayimhungryagain

 These are seaweeds, they eat it with diced fresh tomatoes and oh my gosh do they taste heavenly! It's so fresh that you could actually still taste a little of it's saltiness from the sea and the little bubble looking like something, they were so crunchy, filled with liquid inside.

My favourite, muscles.

I couldn't stop eating! 

I gave up using forks and spoons, my hands worked better. Taking a sign from my stomach's little ache, I stopped eating and went off with Diane to get our hands washed. There was a basin nearby but no water coming out of the tap, I saw pails and scoop but had no idea whether to use it or not. 

So, we saw one of the workers from the hotel and when he saw us with our puzzled looks, he asked, "Yes ma'am, you want to wash your hands?", Diane said yes. 

"Or do you want to lick our fingers for us"

Then I thought I said it softly, turns out the next second Diane turned to eyeball me saying 'bel how could you say that!' and the worker even laughed. It was quite embarrassing, I didn't mean it! hahahah

Alright, Then we went snorkeling ! We rented our snorkel gears for PHP250 each and had 3 hours time to use it. I guess the price was considered okay(?) Anyway, we immediately got into the water. 

At first we found each other so funny because of the way we looked!

I kinda thought Diane looked like an elephant because of the tube hahaha

(PS : I remember taking photos of us having our snorkeling gears on but I guess Diane deleted it :( ) 

It was our first time and it was so fun! We kept looking for fishies

UNTIL...

I was quite afar from Diane, I guess I kinda wondered off on my own. One thing I felt when I was snorkeling was, nothing. Everything just felt so soothing, not a single thought of whoever or whatever came through my mind. It felt - free. 

Suddenly, salt water came into my goggles and I had to take them off. I tried to stand, but couldn't feel the ground beneath my feet. I couldn't stand, I couldn't breath, I was terrified. But I remembered what I've learnt from previous swimming classes at my ex-high school, which was to not panic and try kicking, cutting through the waves with my arms until I find land. And in the end, I did. I was so scared that I had to go back onto the shore to sit for awhile and to replay what had happened. 

"I almost drowned."

That was all I could think of. What if my leg suddenly had cramps or I was too far away from shore? What could have happened.

Diane was looking for me until she saw me sitting by the waters, just sinking my feet into wet sand and watching the small waves splashing onto my legs. She asked if I was okay and I told her what almost happened, she gave me a worried look and asked if I wanted some company sitting down here, but I rejected. 

After that, I didn't have the mood to go into the sea anymore. Until an hour or so, I told myself if I dont do this now, I might never get to do it until a few years later maybe. So I put on my snorkeling gear and began searching for fishies, but now closer to shore.

We went seashell hunting, grabbing any beautiful seashells we could find under the sea. One time, I picked up a shell to know it was a hermit crab ! I threw it away instantly with Diane next to me, she and I ended up laughing through our goggles.

Lookie, we found a live starfish !

Sunset time!

Aunty Annie and I

Soon, it was time to return the gears back.

The shack where we rented our stuff.

Then we walked to the toilet to shower.

Purple-ish pink skies after the sun set.

It was so dark when it was only 7pm. I remembered sitting on a chair right in front of the sea, just listening to the waves and seeing everything in pitch black. Lol, I'm not going to repeat how I feel when I'm around the ocean okay, HAHAHA.

When everyone was done, we headed back.

In the car, I immediately fell asleep.

Waking up, I found my stomach growling and we were still on the highway back. Diane was already awake and she kept saying she was famished, it was soooo annoying HAHAH :P

Then we stopped by at McDonald's.

I tried their Pork Burger and had their sundae, omg it was soooo good.

I got the hot fudge chocolate and caramel sundae and boy, did I fell in love. Plus it was tall.

Credits to google

The rest wasn't much, we went home and everyone practically crashed. Oh, we did pack our suitcases for the next day as we were going to Manila !

Keep your heads up for my next entry in Manila!

Photo credits to Diana.